


One Eye Sees, the Other Feels

by lionness



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Romance, film major jb, fine arts major mark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7827091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionness/pseuds/lionness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark is super awkward and JB used to be really angry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Twinkaccino

Mark frowned upon getting his order at Starbucks because atop the frothy liquid lay the drizzle of not a dark brown, but a brighter yellow-orange substance. Caramel. He hated caramel.

A sigh escaped his lips. He just wanted his usual old chocolate chip frappe as a night snack, but he never got coffee at this time so the workers didn't recognize him and therefore, could easily mix his order up with someone else's (or just get it wrong all together). Great.

He could have gone back and asked them to get him a new one, but he didn't want to be an inconvenience, or be a difficult customer. So he thought, hey, he could simply just scoop all the whip cream off, ultimately ending all traces of caramel, right?

He ended up ridding his beverage of all of the whip cream—one of his favorite parts—into the garbage and hastily made his way to the exit. Even though no one was probably paying him any attention, he felt nervous, moving a little bit too fast because he just wanted to get home because he's hardly ever out at this time of night to begin with. Unfortunately, he exited tripping over his own feet, spilling his frappe upon swinging the door open which was interrupted by a sturdy figure dressed in black who happened to be walking by. The door rammed into the man's side.

"The fuck?" The man snarled.

Mark's eyes widened and he scurried towards him. "Y-you okay?"

Mark was flipping out. How he could be such an inconvenience to some stranger?

But suddenly, his thoughts halted when he looked into the man's eyes and froze. Even in the poor lighting he could see those narrow, piercing eyes.

"What do you think, asshole!" The man didn't sound happy. "I'm sure you're just another person looking to ruin my day like everyone else. Thanks."

Mark recognized the fuming man immediately. In fact, his fuming is what triggered the recognition. JB was known to have a short fuse and was often seen at school blowing up over who knows what. It was that fact that made Mark make sure to steer clear away from him in anyway possible.

But even though JB was unlikable in that way, Mark still would admit to being captivated by him, sort of admiring him from afar—very far because there was no way he was going to risk getting chewed out or getting a door or two slammed in his face.

But so much for that idea. He ran into him anyway, in maybe one of the worst ways possible.

He swallowed, eyes analyzing the shiny sheen of JB's dyed hair, making note of the cropped undercut. His eyes then briefly moved to the two moles above JB's eyelids, quickly brushing over his sharp gaze and next observing his defined nose, then defined cheek bones, and finally Mark's eyes traced the outline of an extremely thin lower lip and not much bigger pink bottom lip.

"The fuck are you just standing there saying nothing for? You just gonna fucking stare at the shit you just spilled on my shoes?!" JB spat, not realizing that Mark for one was looking at everything but his spoiled shoes. Mark grew embarrassed, realizing that he had been involuntarily staring the man down, something that wasn't rare. It was in him to analyze, to take in details, especially of things that appealed to his eye.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was an accident. He wanted to say all of those things but the words just never physically came.

Great. Now he was sure that this tragic incident would forever stain JB's impression of Mark, an idea Mark sure wasn't fond of. It was something about his looks and confidence that made Mark feel what he'd describe as...weird...and floaty...he always considered it just his artistic sense reacting to a pleasing figure, like whenever he would study an admiring piece of art from one of his favorite artists. The feeling was similar, but something was off. He wasn't sure what it was.

Since he had always admired him from a distance, to see him this close was so much better. And to see him with emotion. His face was stern and serious, something that worked the nerves in Mark's being but also fed his artistic hunger by giving him a different face to reference in his memory besides his usual stoic and indifferent attitudes. Plus, this was up close and Mark could catch every fixed muscle in JB's visage, from the crinkled thin brows to the clenched jaw and rolled bottom lip.

Mark still hadn't said anything, but then they made eye contact and he noticed JB's face suddenly relaxed. His eyebrows seemed slightly lifted and his lips completely unrolled turning into the slightest gape. Mark could even pick up the slower heaving in his chest as it went up and down with each inhale and exhale.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

"Do you want one?" Mark asked. No thoughts crossed his mind, debating the form of words that came out of his mouth. It just happened. Just came pouring out of him.

"I...huh?" JB responded in confusion.

Mark, realizing what he had just said, began the battle for words in his head. But because he was in a hurry, his mind suddenly became a mystery bag of various words and phrases that he pulled the clearest thoughts he could muster from.

"I...kinda sorta ruined my drink on you and you like...you said you were having a bad day so I can just—you can have a drink with me and I'll just pay or something and you know." Mark was far from proud of that so-called sentence. Why he would always get an A in English, he really couldn't tell you.

JB was silent before he scratched his cheek with his finger and replied. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

\---

Mark had no idea what the fuck he was doing. How did he end up sitting across from JB with the chocolate chip frappe that he wanted to begin with, and a mocha one in front of JB who sat across from him? How did this happen?

"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I...my temper gets the best of me sometimes," JB said, breaking silence that Mark was afraid was getting way too awkward.

He was relieved.

"But," JB added after a sip from his drink. "I'm working on it. Honest."

Mark nodded, thinking that JB is more mature than he had thought, able to recognize his flaws and apologize on behalf of them when he felt the need to. Though, Mark thought that he totally deserved the backlash from JB for not watching where he was going.

Anyhow, JB didn't seem to be overly hung up on pride. Nice.

But Mark still felt bad about bumping into him like he did, and honestly, he thought he should've been watching his steps a bit better. "I'm sorry for what I did. The mess..." _I deserved to be yelled at._

"The coffee makes up for it. So it's okay." He said, then left traces of the faintest smile as he drank some of his frappe, his Adam's apple bobbing with each swallow.

Mark felt warm. He wasn't sure if it was the soft tenor of JB's voice or if it was JB's easier than imagined forgiveness. Either way, Mark liked what he was feeling and knew that JB was the cause of it.

The silence filled up again and Mark tried so hard to not stare JB down. JB's face was like a fucking magnet to Mark's eyes, like whenever he would normally see a girl he really liked. It's just that this time, it wasn't a girl.

Mark's hand began to itch. Not literally like he felt the need to scratch it, but his hand felt the need to create. It was yearning for fine orange wood to hold and create motions against paper.

JB stared off to the side, probably looking out the window into a dark street lit with white streetlights. His brows knit togther.

"I can't believe he left me," he mumbled.

Mark's ears perked. What was he talking about? _Who left you?_ Suddenly, nothing was more interesting to Mark then what JB had to say.

Luckily, Mark didn't have to actually ask and could continue sipping his drink because JB was willing to share.

"Youngjae," he said, looking downwards. Then he really smiled. "is so sweet. So happy. So fun."

The smile disappeared again.

"How could I have not known how he felt? For how long was he just putting up with me? Why didn't he talk to me and tell me?"

Mark couldn't quite understand, but he was able to pick up a few pieces, enough pieces to add up and get something that made sense. Youngjae was his boyfriend, and he left JB. Why Youngjae left, it was too vague to tell.

"It's been a month and I'm still so hurt." JB murmured the last part, now staring down at his cup which he stirred around with his straw. He seemed to be talking more to himself than to Mark, to the point where Mark might as well not have been there. Mark was merely a pair of ears. But maybe that was all that JB needed.

JB halted his movements and firmly put the cup down, looking up at Mark. He wore a lazy grin. "Sorry. It kind of slipped out. I didn't mean to ramble on about sappy sensitive stuff..."

"S'okay." Mark assured him, then sipped some more.

JB stared at the empty table space between them. Then he looked up at him. "You're really quiet and kinda weird, but I think that's an okay thing. It's an easing, trustworthy kind of quiet."

He sat back in his chair and put his arms behind his head. "And who cares if you're a little strange."

Fireworks were going off inside Mark. This guy was too much. He felt like he was living in some cheesy fairy tale-princess type of dream, Mark being the princess who was being enchanted by this gorgeous prince, JB. The butterflies in his stomach were getting impossible to ignore. JB's face alone was leaving him breathless, but then the softness of his heart contradicting his tougher outer exterior was making it even worse. No one ever really appreciated Mark like that. No one has ever complimented his silence like that, so hearing that his silence created an air of tranquility felt so good to his ears.

"I sound like a _girl,_ " JB chuckled. Mark stared at his lips.

 _I sound more like a girl,_ Mark thought.

"I sound like an emotional wreck," JB's lips said.

_You sound just fine._

The tingling in his stomach intensified, almost sickeningly so. Mark felt the need to leave ASAP.

He checked his phone. "Shit," he seethed, hoping it sounded convincing enough. "I have to go. There's something I forgot to...that I need to attend to..."

JB nodded. "Yeah I understand. I should leave too then," he laughed. "Thank you for the drink and listening to my sappy moment. It's probably going to haunt me when I try to go to sleep tonight. But maybe it was worth it."

Mark nodded. "I'll see you later."

"Let's hang out again sometime," JB said.

-

Mark got home as soon as possible sloppily kicking his shoes off and aiming straight for the sketchbook on his table. He fell back onto his couch, using his legs to prop his sketchbook up, and he plugged in his earphones, filling his mind with the sounds of piano. Then he gathered up his passion and the pencil in his hand unleashed itself onto the empty page. The lines were rushed and a tad bit sloppy, but precisely placed so that within about an hour, what he had before him was a masterpiece created from a temporary image in his mind that looked great right now. 'Right now', because he knew that in the morning he'd notice all of its dumb flaws and would want to do it all over again.

For now, it looked more than good, so he treated it with special care, carefully tearing it from its binding and tacking it up on a cork board in his bedroom that held notes, things to do, and occasionally pieces of art that he felt he did unexpectedly well at. He wasn't sure how much justice the piece did the real thing, but it still made him smile nonetheless and it felt good to go to sleep with that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a chaptered fic! Probably will not be very long. I just really liked the idea of Mark being an artist because I could see that as his occupation in another universe lol. It's so cute. Mark is cute.
> 
> I've rated it m because I was imagining a more mature plot, but I might lower it depending on where it goes.... 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!
> 
> -lionness


	2. Next Step

Mark woke up the next day in his normal state of unwillingness to go to class, sighing as he got up and walked to his cork board to see if there was anything he felt he needed to do.

The first thing that caught his eye was the drawing he made last night. He crinkled his nose at it because _fuck,_ it looked _nothing_ like it did whenever he'd made it. So many proportions were off, so many lines were set off kilter. _Was it even recognizable?_ It did the real deal no justice. None.

Then he thought of what happened last night, the night he met a JB different from the one other people knew, and what he used to know.

He ripped the page from it's tack, not caring that it left a small tear at the top of it, and he continued to skim the board.

One small orange sticky noted screamed at him.

_YOU NEED MORE PAINT!!!_

One trip to the craft store, _check._

Then on his calendar read _,_ " _date w/_ _nyoung_ _"._

_Oh yeah._

-

Mark tapped his fingers on the table inside a small diner where he waited for his best friend, Jinyoung to show up. He glanced at his phone. _3:17._ The plan was to meet up at three, but it'd been almost twenty minutes past and Jinyoung still hadn't arrived, making Mark nervous. Not nervous because he was worried about Jinyoung, but because he hated dining in alone. He could never feel comfortable being the only one at a table, like the loner he was. Jinyoung knew this and would usually make an effort to be on time whenever he could, but sometimes he slipped up. Mark understood that but he wanted him to be there _now_ so that he could stop freaking out and also tell him about what happened last night with JB because he was _dying_ to tell.

Mark limited his focus to his cell phone, trying to tune out as much of the outside world as possible. Taking a sip of his sprite, which he went ahead and ordered because he was thirsty, he opened Pokemon Go thinking, he could catch a thing or two just sitting here maybe? The world could use one less stray Rattata.

"Oh! Mark!" a voice called and after looking up to see where it came from, Mark saw that it was JB. He was with this other slightly smaller but still really fit guy Mark knew as Jackson, as did everyone else at his school. It was hard not to know someone who was so full of personality and who had a strong work ethic. He's a well-known athlete, good at almost any sport. He puts forth his all in everything he does, a trait many people admire. Mark couldn't help but think, _what a cool guy to be friends with._

The two exchanged words, Jackson pointing his thumb in some direction behind him before they parted, JB headed straight for Mark.

His heart thumped as he saw JB come toward him, smiling bright and just completely different from what he saw last night.

The man helped himself to the chair across from Mark, sliding in so smoothly and resting his elbow on the table. "Nice to see you here."

Mark didn't know how to react. He was pretty much frozen, staring around JB's neck but never reaching his intimidating eyes. He fidgeted with his phone.

"Did you have class today? " JB asked, still smiling.

Mark took a gander at him and didn't have to think to take note of how he looked when he smiled, how his eyes nearly disappeared... _when is he ever this smiley?_ Mark was intrigued, a little surprised...

But he liked it. A lot.

_Oh yeah_ Mark thought. _He asked you a question._

"Yeah," Mark said. "I had an interesting....day... Print..printmaking."

Mark was annoyed with how hard it was to make his words flow smoothly. Hopefully, JB didn't mind.

JB nodded, looking pleased with Mark's answer. It made Mark happy.

"Printmaking? I don't know anything about art majors. I guess there's way more than just drawing. "

" _Way_ more. " Mark added. Then he saw Jinyoung come in walking towards him.

"So you know we don't really see each other much at school, so I was wondering-"

"Mark, " Jinyoung said with a smile and a wave when he reached the table.

JB turned his head. "Oh, Jinyoung."

"I'll see you later, Mark." JB said before making his way across the cafe, disappearing around a corner.

Jinyoung replaced JB and didn't say anything until he was out of sight. "You're talking to someone who isn't me? "

"Come on, Nyoung." Mark whined, leaning forward onto the table where his chin was now resting.

"But of all people, JB? Im Jaebum? Hotheaded hottie?"

Mark wrinkled his nose at the word 'hottie'. Jinyoung knew about how he felt about JB and would often pick at him about it, calling JB his 'man-crush' or 'future boyfriend,' all because he looks at JB a certain way. _So dramatic,_ Mark thought. Yeah, JB looks nice, but that's it. He just looks nice.

And Mark found out today that he looks even nicer when he's smiling.

"I ran into him last night and-"

"You guys hooked up? It was love at first sight!"

Mark rolled his eyes. "Jinyoung. For real." He said it in that _for real, stop teasing me_ kind of way.

"Alright, alright. It's just so fun. Sorry, I can't help it," he laughed.

"Yeah well you'd better help it," Mark muttered, making it sound like a threat but they both knew it meant nothing.

Jinyoung asked Mark if he had ordered food already. Mark shook his head.

"Let's do that first," he said.

-

The two sat back down, each holding a tray with sandwiches on them. While Jinyoung had Italian, Mark went extremely basic, ordering a grilled cheese.

"Alright," Jinyoung said, peeling off the top half of his sandwich and dispatching the tomatoes from it. "Tell me everything about last night."

"I fucking spilled a caramel frappe on his shoes on my way out of Starbucks. And I hit him with the door."

"Yikes!" Jinyoung gasped. "Caramel? I thought you didn't like-"

"They messed up my order and shit and yeah."

Mark then explained in detail exactly how his night started when he order the drink, up to when they got together inside Starbucks and JB started rambling about his ex. Of course, he left out all the extra checking out he did to him. And all those fluttery feelings JB gave him. When he told Jinyoung about how he offered to buy JB a drink, Jinyoung was pretty shocked. Mark too was shocked, so there was no surprise there.

"Looking back on it, I'm kind of glad I spilled it because I ended up getting the chocolate one anyway."

"Yeah, at the price of two." Jinyoung scoffed.

"Whatever."

"So be honest. Do you like him?" Jinyoung asked.

Mark stopped chewing. "He seems like an okay guy."

"Yeah, but you _know_ what I'm talking about."

Mark felt like he should say _no,_ but he didn't really want to. But he didn't want to say yes either. He didn't know why. He didn't really know how he felt.

"I don't know." Mark mumbled. _He just looks nice. Does it go beyond that?_

Jinyoung nodded, not trying to press him any further and changed subjects.

"Let me tell you about this annoying new freshman that just transferred into my dance class."

-

Mark and Jinyoung ended their mini dinner date bantering and laughing like good friends do. It was a good stress reliever, especially because of how burdening school had been.

As they noisily walked out, Jinyoung a few steps ahead of him, Mark barely caught a figure resting on the wall of the building's exterior. It was JB.

"Mark, hey, " he said. "I was waiting for you."

"Hey, Mark, remember when-" Jinyoung said, turning around but he stopped when he saw JB talking to him.

_Oh jeez,_ Mark thought, going through his imaginary bag of thoughts that Jinyoung might be thinking.

"I'll see you later Mark. " he said before he turned back around.

Mark said "Yeah, same."

Then he turned his attention to the man waiting for him. _How long was he waiting?_ Mark hadn't even caught him and his friend Jackson leave. _Speaking of Jackson,_ he was nowhere in sight. Mark figured he already left.

"JB..." Mark said.

JB was smiling just as he was earlier, but this time he seemed more... _fidgety_. His hands were hidden behind his back and he kept shifting his weight between each foot. Then he'd rub his arm a little, which reminded Mark of Jinyoung who would do a very similar gesture whenever he was nervous.

Before he spoke he fixed his fringe a little bit and bit his lip. "Are you busy tomorrow?" His fingers then lay on a watch on his wrist, fingertips gliding around the face's rim. This is the first time Mark even noticed the watch, gold and very expensive looking with a black face. He couldn't help but wonder if the guy was well off.

Not that money mattered. It was just an observation.

Mark still couldn't look at his eyes as he responded. "I might be.. I don't know... I'm not sure... "

"I understand." JB then rubbed the back of his neck, and next wiped his hands on his pants as if to rid something from them, like one would do with sweaty hands.

_I'm glad you do._

"Hey, take out your phone. I'll give you my number."

-

Mark went home in an exceptionally good mood once again. He spent some quality time with his best friend. He even had a bit of time with JB, and they exchanged numbers. _Oh my God._

_Another number you can bother besides me?_ he could hear Jinyoung remark. Even though for the record, he had way more than Jinyoung as a friendly contact. There were others. He just never really talked to them....

Mark glanced at the drawing that he left on the coffee table. Not bad enough for him to feel the need to throw it out, but not that good either. He for sure knew that it was definitely _not_ worth the cork board display.

He sighed, plopped onto his couch and pulled out his phone. He mindlessly scrolled through the contacts until he hit JB. Would JB ever actually contact him? Should Mark say something first? Mark's shy, but JB seemed friendly enough to approach.

_Nah_ _._

Mark put his phone down and traded it for a sketch book, one bigger than the size he normally used and he scribbled away, letting his hand drift across the page, dumping the artistic clutter within his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my bestie for reading over my work for me and helping me make decisions lol. She's the best, really.  
> Again, I expect this to be really short. I'm having a pretty good time writing this. I like exploring Mark's thoughts. Maybe one day I'll jump into JB's instead *winkwink*
> 
> I hope this was satisfying and that all of you reading are enjoying it. Thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> -lionness


	3. My House

"We're going to display some newer artworks. Give the newbies some time in the spotlight.

"Also, I've about had it with you leaving all of your work in here. It takes up space"

 _Alright,_ Mark thought, replaying the words of his professor in his head. His laziness had finally caught up with him, leaving him with a ton of projects, finished and unfinished to carry all the way home. It really didn't sound that bad at first. In fact, it was going quite well until exactly three steps out the door. Right on that third step, one canvas fell right before his Converse covered feet, triggering a couple others to make a crash landing onto the shiny hard floors, sprinkled with dozens of papers floating beneath him and gently decorating the entire area around him. He let out an exasperated sigh, feeling silly thinking he'd be able to walk all of this home with just his two arms, even when he tried to shove many pieces inside his portfolio.

He reached down and began the clean up, thinking he'd have to put most of this back and just get it a little bit at a time, the obvious smarter plan he should've went with sooner. The obvious, more time consuming and tiring but _smarter_ plan.

"Hey Mark!"

Mark knew who's voice it was and his body grew rigid, but he was still making progress, picking up each stray paper piece by piece. Then a pair of black vans appeared before him.

"You could use some help," JB said, already bending down to pick up a few things for him.

Mark was never fond of looking distressed in any way in front of others. It just felt so humiliating, as if whether or not there were even people around, there was always this invisible bully by him, ready to point and laugh and clamor about how big of a loser he was. And here JB came, because he looked like he needed help.

He shook his head, trying to control the thoughts that he knew were pointless to think about. _JB isn't like_ _that,_ he told himself.

"Thanks," Mark said, looking at JB as he said it who in return smiled wide.

That was how JB ended up walking alongside Mark, holding a few pages and canvases as Mark was.

The walk home really wasn't too bad. Mark was mostly quiet while JB would make comments here and there, sometimes about how stressful his assignments have been to questions about the art Mark created.

"I really like this one," JB said, referring to a study he did of cats. Mark didn't think it was anything special, the scribbles of dozens of cats he referenced on grainy brown paper, but the compliment was greatly appreciated nonetheless.

When they got to Mark's place, Mark decided to be polite and invite JB in for a drink or something, which JB happily accepted.

"Hey," JB said and Mark turned around to see him eyeing a drawing he left on his coffee table. "Is that me—"

Mark snatched the page away with a lightning speed that he never knew he was capable of, then crumpled it up and threw it into a garbage can right next to his refrigerator.

"It's nothing. It wasn't that good. I've been meaning to throw it away." The words came out rushed and barely spaced, a result of his brain almost short circuiting at the fact that he left his shitty first drawing of JB out in the open where the man himself could see it. He couldn't believe he let it sit there for so long.

But, _He recognized it?_ That made Mark think that maybe it wasn't so bad after all. It succeeded at being recognizable.

 _Shit,_ he thought when he realized that JB could absolutely positively not go into his room because all those pictures of JB he'd been sketching would've made a pretty bad impression. _Note to self, bedroom is OFF LIMITS._

JB was confused seeing Mark snatch the drawing out of his hand. _Was that me?_ He wondered, but eventually shrugged it off. He continued looking around the room. Art was literally everywhere. Paint, pens, canvases, papers...one might think it was messy, but in a way it wasn't. The room felt more alive as a result of all the artworks placed in almost every space. It seemed like a cup of pens and pencils were placed on every surface available, each wall had no more than three pieces of framed art hung up, and various books were placed about, from the coffee table, to the entertainment stand, to the floor in a corner of the room. It was like one foot into Mark's home said everything about him, but at the same time said nothing. Art was his life, but the art created inquiries. One might've wondered, in one particular landscape painting of a lone man on top of a vast mountain, what is that man doing there? What inspired Mark to make it?

 _Mark created all of this?_ JB thought.

"I've got a lot of shit in here don't I," Mark said, sitting his canvases against a wall, noticing how packed his living room was. "I should really start tossing some of it. A lot of it." He took the pieces of art from JB and placed them wherever he could fit them, which was mostly against the wall. Then he went into the kitchen.

"What?  Why? It's all great. Sell them or something," JB suggested, making Mark feel flushed in his cheeks from the compliment. "Or better yet, just give them to me?"

"No, I should... " Mark paused, not sure what to say next. In his mind, half of this stuff was mediocre, stuff that his abilities were now beyond, but he wouldn't tell JB that because he didn't want to seem cocky. _You see that fruit basket I made over there that I spent like 12 hours on? I can do way better than that. And do it within about 6._

"I'll see about it," Mark said. Then he reached into his fridge. _JB is probably thirsty. What does he like?_ "Do you want lemonade? Water?"

"Lemonade," JB said.

After seating JB at the counter with some lemonade, Mark remembered something. He had this lovely painting of exotic flowers he made last week, and he really wanted to place it somewhere on his wall. Where though, he wasn't quite sure. Maybe next to his picture of several white swans? But the colors didn't seem harmonious enough. The dull background of the swans would be completely overpowered by the purples and pinks and oranges of the exotic flowers...and the colors clashed.

"Something wrong?" JB asked, having seen Mark merely standing and staring at the wall across from them.

"I'm not sure... Where I should place this..." Mark said as he grabbed the vibrant floral painting which was about as big as his entire upper body. "I'm thinking...on this wall?" He cocked his head. "But then..."

"How about, right up there? A bit to the left," JB suggested, trying to point at the specific location on the wall.

"Right where?"

"There."

"Here?"

" _No,_ there."

"Uh.." Mark stood there in confusion, so JB came over so he could line their perspectives up. He put both his arms around either side of Mark's body, then put his hands together to form a small window in front of Mark's eyes. "Right, here," JB said.

What JB did was so simple but Mark, being the unnecessarily complicated person he was, felt every bit of what just happened fully and vividly. He felt the press of JB's chest against his back—a very strong and broad chest at that—and he felt JB's chin just barely touch his right shoulder. Add that with the feeling of being trapped between JB's arms and well, Mark was _lowkey_ short circuiting from this static like connection. The feeling of both their bodies against each other...he just wished he could slump backwards and fall back into JB.

But of course, the gesture ended much quicker than it felt. JB moved away. "I can help you put it up too if you want."

Mark couldn't find his words. His vocabulary bank suddenly ran empty.

Just then, Mark's phone dinged and he scrambled for the phone in his pocket. It was a message from Jinyoung.

Jinyoung:  ** _sup_**

Mark:  _JBs_ _over_ rn

Jinyoung: ** _:o NO WAY WHATS HE DOING THERE_**

Mark: _I'll explain_ _hold on_

**Jinyoung:** **_DONT_ ** **_LET HIM SEE YOUR ROOM_ **

_**I'd hate for him to think he was being** _ _**stalked or something. U don't want that creeper status** _

Mark rolled his eyes.

Mark: _yeah_ _ok_ _. LATER_

Mark panicked. He started feeling how he felt when he had first met JB, when they were drinking frappes and Mark was listening to him speak and...

"Hey so, I j-just remembered I have to clean my—well everything I have to clean everything like my place is a mess look at it."

"Okay," JB said. "I'll help—"

"Uhhh that's okay, you should just get going I'm sure you have things to do too so..." Mark said as he tried to subtly or not so subtly guide JB to his front door, gently pressing a palm into the center of JB's back. _Jesus, why does he have to help with everything_ _omg_ _just leave._

But _wow_ _,_ Mark thought as he eased JB forward. _H_ _e smells like..._ _ **candy**_ _..._

He shook his head. _Completely random and very irrelevant, Mark._

"Uh, okay then. it was nice seeing you. Thanks for inviting me into your ho—"

"Mhm. Okay, see you, JB," Mark said, as JB walked outside.

As soon as the door closed he breathed out a deep sigh. He panicked and ended up kicking him out early because he couldn't take it. He couldn't help but wonder if he could be any smoother. As far as he knew, that was a mess. He almost felt guilty about it.

_He shouldn't of had to go just because I'm extra sensitive. Dummy._

But shortly afterwards, Mark asked himself, _d_ _o I really like him?_

Then his phone rung, and by the kind of ringtone it was, Mark knew it was Jinyoung.

 _Nah_ _,_ Mark thought. _I don't._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely meant for more to happen but that ended up not happening LOL. Sorry about that...things are traveling quite slowly huh....^^;
> 
> LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER BC I PUT A LOT IN IT and it'll be way better than this one lol. 
> 
> Mark is really something else, eh? So cute and easy to shake lmao. And JB just wants to be a good friend~or more than that?
> 
> ANyhow thanks again for reading. Please don't hesitate to comment. Feedback is so inspiring in a way. It's makes me feel even more determined to write. I encourage all of you say good things about all the fics you read, because all the authors appreciate it immensely ^^ we love to hear from you~
> 
> Adios~
> 
> -lionness


	4. Chapter 4

After talking with Jinyoung the day Mark indirectly invited JB to his house, he established his feelings.

"Jinyoung, I--" Mark spoke into his cellphone.

"You like him, right?" Jinyoung insisted from the other end.

"I just like his face, Jinyoung," Mark said.

Of course Jinyoung thought he was filled with complete BS but that was the conclusion Mark settled with. What Mark knew to be true was that JB was just a piece of eye candy that fueled his inspiration. All those fluttery feelings came from JB's face. All those pages he drew of JB were simply a result of an infatuation.

"I honestly think that he likes you, Mark."

"Yeah, as a friend maybe."

"I doubt it. Mark. He's making time for you."

Deny deny deny. That's all Mark did and he insisted that Jinyoung didn't know a thing.

"You're over thinking it, Mark. Why do you have to be so cautious? If you like each other, I don't see why you can't just accept that."

"Because it's not true. I barely know him. How can I like someone I barely know?" _If he were ugly, I wouldn't give a damn._ "And he barely knows me." _Why would he be interested in me anyways?_

"Alright, Mark. Think what you want to."

"I'm hanging up," Mark said.

"Later."

Mark hung up.

_It's just an infatuation. It'll wear off soon._

-

Mark needed a new subject of study for a few art class assignments and he was not going to use JB no matter how bad he wanted to. He was going to use castles.

He didn't know much about castles so it only seemed logical to find books at the library about them so he could study up. That's how he ended up at one, backpack swung on one shoulder, not at all expecting to see JB on his way there too. But then again, when is Mark ever expecting JB? And of course, JB suggested that they go in together and help each other out, because it seemed like JB was always trying to help people. Might as well since they both had business here.

They walked in and immediately Mark noticed Jinyoung at the front desk, hair resting lazily on his forehead and glasses on while tending to someone.

"Oh! Jackson!" JB exclaimed, which of course asked for a hush from some random person nearby.

Jackson, who was the one talking to Jinyoung, turned his head only slightly before turning towards Jinyoung again, one elbow leaned up on the counter and chest eased forward, looking a tad bit too close to Jinyoung for him to be comfortable.

"Is this guy serious," JB laughed and Mark followed him up to where Jackson was.

Mark waved at Jinyoung who returned a nod. It wasn't a big deal to see each other there because Jinyoung was there a lot, either working or reading books, or both.

"Please excuse me, my dear," Jackson said, which made Jinyoung roll his eyes and sigh. Then Jackson pulled JB and Mark away from the desk.

"Hey JB. And--oh! You're that guy! Mark! I totally know you. Or like, I feel kinda like I do because JB is like, always talking about y--"

JB hooked his arm around the back of Jackson's neck. "Jackson, okay."

"But hey, listen, " Jackson said with strain as he struggled to break free from JB's grasp. "It's nice seeing you here and all, but I have things to do."

JB let go. "I didn't know you were interested the student librarian. That standard is too high for you, don't you think?"

"Hey," Jackson said sternly, rubbing his neck like it was sore. "Don't you know who I am? Overachiever here. I am slightly offended."

JB laughed. "It's all just jokes."

Wait, Mark thought, momentarily tuning out the bickering of the two friends. Jackson was just flirting with his best. Jackson, has a crush on Jinyoung? To Mark it was pretty awesome that Jinyoung could attract someone so popular, someone who could probably get almost anyone they wanted.

But then, his thoughts made a darker alternative turn. He wouldn't be trying to use him, would he? Mark couldn't help but have these thoughts because quite frankly, he didn't know Jackson very well at all. It wasn't like he kept track of his relationships or rumors about him, so he didn't even have that to go off of. Thinking that Jackson might be a player didn't make Mark feel to good. Mark's best friend was suddenly potentially in danger.

And if Jackson happened to be that kind of terrible person, would his good friend JB also be of that type?

He shook his head. _Mark, you're over thinking it. Quit it._

Should he keep his distance from Jackson then? But there was no way Mark would keep his thoughts from Jinyoung. He made an important mental note to talk to Jinyoung alone when he got the chance.

"Well, you get back to your mingling, because I also—we also have things to do thank you very much," JB said.

"Alright man. Nice meeting you for real, Mark."

"Yeah," Mark said. His mind was still buzzing. He just felt...strange.

"So is there a certain book you want? I'll help you find it." JB put his arm around Mark's shoulders and Mark just couldn't feel comfortable with it. He grew tense, but he knew it wasn't because he didn't like it. He did like it, almost too much for his liking. Something such as that is supposed to be friendly, is it not? But he just couldn't help it. His body reacted all on it's own. It made JB's arms feel like a boa constrictor around his body, except way less intense and not at all terrifying.

"I...I kinda want something on castles. S'what my next study will be," Mark replied. "You can just look over there while I check here. Cause it's faster and yeah. Meet me back at that table towards the back."

"Alright. Sounds good." JB pulled away and walked off to wherever Mark pointed at.

Mark let out a huge breath. Relax, Mark.

Mark seated himself first, placing about five hardcover books down in front of him (he would've carried more if he didn't have spaghetti arms) and began digging his sketchbook out of his backpack.

JB came along shortly, just one book in his hand. "Is this good?"

"Yeah." Mark replied as he sat his sketch book open to a blank page and placed it flat against the table, then reached back into another pocket to find his trusty no.2 pencil. He then took the book from JB and flipped through it, his eyes only drifting across the pictures that went by which weren't really a lot, but he was still able to find something to settle on. It was a picture of Castle De Haar, a European castle that wasn't extremely intricate, but wasn't old and rugged and broken looking, like it was just a pile of rocks. He sat the open book onto the table right next to his sketchbook, then picked up his pencil and began sketching away, flicking the graphite in different directions on the page.

JB was seated and he was intrigued by Mark, showing his fascination by leaning towards him, eyes intently follow the point of his pencil much to Mark's discomfort. Any eyes that watched what Mark was doing felt like daggers, like he was literally being pressed with a pair of blunt metal edges.

"Oh so you're using the pictures. Is your class making you all draw castles?"

Mark shook his head. "No, we got to pick what we would study. I chose castles." Now please stop staring because my hands are sweating and it's harder to grip a pencil with sweaty hands.

"Really? What made you want to do castles?"

Mark kept himself from sighing. "In class we watched this documentary on Italian history. Italy is really artsy. There were some castles and yeah, I thought they looked cool." Was that satisfying enough? Mark definitely was not satisfied with how his sketch was going. Yeah, it was only a sketch, but even for a sketch he wondered if JB was criticizing his work.

"Cool~" JB said, and Mark could swear that JB had gotten closer. He continued to watch Mark in silence and Mark hoped JB couldn't see the pencil just slightly trembling in his hand.

"I mean, there is a little more to it." Mark hesitated. "I guess...you could say it's like, a metaphor."

"A metaphor? For what?"

"Well, these walls are so sturdy. They've been up for years and years. It'd be cool...to be that...to be that strong..."

JB didn't say anything after that. It made Mark feel like he said something stupid, so he was instantly filled with regret and his skin burned, and he really wanted JB to leave him alone.

Mark's eyes traveled back and forth between the book and the sketch. He was rushing all of his lines, creating an extremely vague outline that at least captured the castle's general shape, despite the bad angling.

"You came here for something right? Or do you just...stop by randomly," Mark said. Why was JB there in the first place?

"Oh, yeah. I was going to get to that eventually. I really hate reading but I was trying to get something on screenplays."

Mark was not one to ask a lot of questions but he was too curious about JB at the moment to not inquire. "Screenplays?"

"Yeah. Film major stuff. My screenplays need some more work but I really just need inspiration I guess."

And so Mark found out that JB majored in film. Interesting. Mark didn't expect that. Then again he didn't expect anything.

"I'll be back," JB said.

"Take your time," Mark added and he meant it. Take forever.

JB left Mark to his drawing and walked passed the rows of bookcases until he found the one he knew screenplays would be in. He ventured down the aisle, eyes scanning along the dozens of book spines until he reached film related topics. A book titled _The Screenwriting Bible_ piqued his interest, especially because of how many times he'd heard his professor mention this book, talking about how inspiring it was, as if he lived his entire life by it. So he pulled it out, leaving a hefty space through the shelf.

JB jumped when a familiar face popped up on the other side, and looked at JB through the opening. "Oh. Im Jaebum."

"Jinyoung..." JB said skeptically. _The hell is he doing there..._

"I saw you with Mark."

JB furrowed his brows. "Yeeeaaah..."

" _Love is begun by time, And time qualifies the spark and fire of it_ ," he said.

JB gave him a long, hard stare. "...what? Jinyoung, what are you-"

" _He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking."_ Jinyoung then added, "I'd say that really applies to Mark by the way, not you. Actually, never mind. That's not a very good one..."

Jinyoung was definitely not a complete stranger to JB but he had no idea Jinyoung could be this weird. "Jinyoung. What are you talking about."

" _When you fall in love, it is temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to-"_

"Oh my God, Jinyoung, are you serious, I'm just wasting my time, I have no clue what you are talking about."

"You know, I'm not sure either to be quite honest. Especially with that last one."

JB rolled his eyes and walked out of the aisle with the book in his hand but nearly fell when Jinyoung appeared right at the end of it.

"By the way, the first quote is 'Othello', the second is from 'Anna Karenina' by Leo Tolstoy, and the last one that I didn't get to finish is from 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin' by Louis de Bernieres. Oh wait did I say Othello? I meant 'Hamlet'. Whoops."

"Jinyoung, I'm sorry but I really don't care."

"You know what I'm sure of though? How you feel about Mark."

JB froze, then pulled Jinyoung back into the aisle. "What are you talking about? How do I feel?"

" _In love there are two things-_ "

"Jinyoung I swear if you don't stop with your stupid book quotes." JB said calmly, but he was pretty peeved inside. The old him would have dropped his book on the ground and told him off, and then screamed before exiting, but that was no longer him. The JB he was now was patient and very civil. Still angry, but more formally angry.

Jinyoung placed a hand on his heart. "I give you my blessing JB. But I'll have you know, Mark is really stubborn about things like this...he's stubborn about feelings. In the end, if you just lead the way, he'll follow suit. Trust me."

JB opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out and he blinked a few times. Was Jinyoung implying that he knew JB liked Mark? That he might've been a little bit head over heels for him? And on top of that, Jinyoung was giving him advice?

Jinyoung was turning out to be a very intriguing character in his life story.

"Well, I have to get back to work. Have fun with my best friend." Jinyoung patted JB's back and left before JB could gather his thoughts. Jinyoung was being somewhat vague, but JB wasn't stupid. Maybe it was best that he simply took the advice from Jinyoung and saved it for future reference.

In reality, JB knew he had taken a liking to Mark, but was it as far as Jinyoung suggested? He wasn't sure. That was a subject he never put much thought in. It was hard to put too much thought into that because other troubles nagged at his conscience.

_Like Youngjae._

JB was annoyed with how conflicted Jinyoung made him feel, but when he saw Mark still drawing at the table, he was able to push the feelings away for the moment. Mark looked so delicate, and the way he held his pencil looked delicate, and JB noticed how pretty his fingers were. Mark had his other hand splayed on top of the book he used for reference, putting his long, slender fingers on display to hold down the page it was on. They looked like they'd be soft to touch. And hold. _That would be nice, wouldn't it,_ JB thought. He suddenly felt warm, starting from his fingertips and he could feel it spreading. But he was suddenly reminded of someone else.

Youngjae was soft. So soft. JB could feel the man's palm in his, his head pressed into the crook of his neck, soft and warm and—

"How are you doing?" JB asked as he wiped his hands on his pants and sat back down in front of Mark.

"About ready to leave. I think I'll check a few of these out." Mark drew a few more lines and then began to clean up, first putting his pencil away and then closing his books. "..found what you were looking for?"

"Yup." JB held his book up. "Found your friend Jinyoung too. He's interesting..."

"Oh God," Mark said in response.

"Is something wrong?"

Mark looked over his shoulder and JB tried to follow where his eyes went, but that didn't really help him much. All he saw was another student at the front desk.

"Okay let's go before he gets back," Mark said.

"Eh?"

"Uh—nothing never mind. Let's just go."

-

The sky was still bright when they left the library, sun shining and heating the surface of anything that exposed itself to it. In other words, it was hot but JB still insisted on walking Mark home. They were both hungry so they we're headed towards a hot dog stand, a place Mark insisted had the best hot dogs ever.

"I can't wait for it to get cold. Jeez." JB said as they approached the line and he billowed his black tee, which may not have been the best color choice for such weather.

Mark shook his head. "No, no, no. I hate the cold. I really do. I would be okay with this heat forever."

"Aren't you something."JB smirked nudging Mark's side with his elbow. "Who likes summer like that."

"Me, obviously."

JB laughed. To Mark, the laugh was full of depth and was breathy and manly, and kind of cute. Sometimes, JB was really cute. When he laughed, when he asked annoying questions, and when he acted shy (yes, Mark actually thought he was being pretty cute in the library). He's probably way older than him but he's calling him cute. He then realized he didn't know JB's age. "How old are you? "

"Older than you. Twenty."

Mark couldn't help but giggle. How funny was it that they both thought wrong? "No, you're not."

"What? I think I know how old I am—"

"Oh my gosh, no." Mark grinned cheekily. "I mean you're wrong about being older. I'm older."

"Seriously?"

Mark nodded "Twenty-one."

"Well. It's not that much of a difference." JB said but Mark could totally tell that he was a bit disappointed.

"Still, I'll treat you some time." The words slipped out before he even thought about them and he felt the heat immediately rise to his cheeks for being so bold. It was bold for him, anyway.

"Oh really? I'll remember that the next time we go eat somewhere. Which I hope is soon. Real soon. Oh! But wait. We're about to eat right now. Guess we know who's paying."

"Whatever," Mark smiled, face flushed as they moved up to the line's rear.

Mark was enjoying JB's laugh, but then it suddenly ended as they fell into the line. He looked straight forward, like he was focused on something and his body stood firm. From being so terribly quiet, Mark had developed a good sense of atmospheres around him, and that's how he could tell that something was wrong with JB's.

Then a man in front of them turned around, eyes widening when he saw them. He smiled. "JB."

JB's eyes flickered. "Youngjae." He said it quick and almost breathless.

 _Youngjae?_ Where did Mark hear that name? He heard it before. He tried his best to remember.

_JB mentioned him didn't he?_

_JB's..._

_Ex?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this turned out so long! I couldn't stop my words from flowing. And um...sorry about that cliffhanger there...*scratches head* I'm saving the rest for later.  
> Besides. This chapter has gone on long enough, lol.  
> Didn't see Youngjae comin' did ya' ;)  
> Anyhow, I hope you liked it. Look forward to the next chapter~!
> 
> -lionness


	5. Chapter 5

JB finished laughing and smiling and noticed the person he and Mark stood behind in line looked extremely familiar. It wasn't who he thought it was, was it? He could only see the back of the person's head, but it still had familiarity. But when he heard the figure laugh, he realized why the back of someone's head could be so familiar and it rang in JB's ears like bells, resonating in him a feeling that was warm and nostalgic. Then the figure turned around, eyes widening and then smiling when he saw the two and said, "Jaebum."

The familiar man's name came quietly out of JB, but quickly like a reflex. "Youngjae."

"Nice to see you," Youngjae said and his smile was so bright it pierced JB's rapid heart, kicking it into full gear, followed by pain to see that Youngjae was able to smile just as bright as he did when they were together. It sounded selfish, but it wasn't that JB wanted Youngjae to be unhappy. It simply hurt to think that Youngjae was doing so well without him, when he couldn't say the same. When they were together, he always thought that he was the sole reason Youngjae smiled so brightly.

Apparently he wasn't as special as he thought.

"Yeah," was all JB could manage. Then Mark subtly tugged on the bottom hem of JB's tee, and he suddenly remembered Mark was even there. "This is Mark by the way."

"Hiya, Mark. I'm Youngjae." He held his palm up wiggled his fingers.

Mark responded with a short, "Hi," hoping that it didn't sound too curt.

"Just hanging out?" Youngjae asked.

JB nodded. "How about you?" It didn't feel good to say those words. The air felt stiff and he felt uncomfortable, trying not to be awkward but having trouble ignoring the feelings of his troubled past with Youngjae that were currently conquering him.

"I'm just hanging out with my boyfrie.. " the rest of his last word tapered off into silence, and his smile dimmed.

At least he knew how damaging the word would be to him.

Then it was Youngjae's turn to be at the front of the line, and he ordered two hotdogs, one plain and the other stacked with a load of condiments that JB knew he wouldn't eat. He remembered that sometimes Youngjae would eat so little that JB would end up eating after him, clearing away the scraps because the typical amounts of food always seemed to be a bit too much for his young lover and he hated to see good food go to waste. Did his new lover do the same?

The three shared small talk as Mark and JB ordered and they all waited for their food to come out, Youngjae asking if they were classmates and JB not really saying much at all (kind of like how Mark was on a daily basis). He kept his words short and simple, thinking more about the situation than really participating it. He watched Youngjae's lips more than he listened to his words, realizing how much he missed them. It felt like yesterday that he felt them pressed up against his, sometimes in between his teeth.

But it's all in the past now.

It wasnt much later until the order came out. "I'll see you around," Youngjae said, leaving with a smile and two hotdogs in his hands. JB followed his movements, seeing him walk up to a table with a guy he couldn't recognize. With chiseled features and well defined cheekbones, looks-wise he was a standard JB couldn't admit was below himself. He watched as Youngjae lit up and laughed upon seeing the unfamiliar man.

"JB, um...our order is here." Mark said.

JB snapped his head in Mark's direction, taking a moment to remember what they were even doing before Youngjae appeared. He quickly regained his senses and took his hotdog. "Let's go. We'll eat on the way to your place."

-

"Mark," JB said, taking a large bite of his ketchup and mustard covered hot dog and chewing it slowly as a result of his deep thought processing. He didn't finish chewing it before he spoke again. "You saw that right?"

Mark chewed his food just as slow but not for the same reason. That was how he always ate, savoring his food in small bites. "Saw what?" He asked, even though he was already sure he knew.

"Youngjae when he sat down with that guy...You know what that means?"

Mark didn't respond right away, almost deciding to act like he didn't just to be sure they were on the same page. But he knew better. "Mhm."

JB didn't say anything after that, as he was too busy trying to keep calm inside his head. He was no longer that reckless person that would blow up into a fit of mindless rage and rampage, doing things he would later regret. He wouldn't go back and try to snatch Youngjae away, or give the man he was with a nice hit in the jaw because it was painfully obvious that one: Youngjae didn't want him back, and two: the guy wouldnt have deserved it. Youngjae became a free man whenever they broke up, and that meant that he could date whoever he wanted to, and others could try to date him as well. No matter how much he hated to face it, the reality was that he was no longer Youngjae's lover.

Youngjae was no longer his, and it hurt him to his core.

"Oh! JB your shirt!" Mark exclaimed, pointing at JB's shirt. JB slapped his chest in alarm, thinking maybe a bug landed on him, but instead of being met with soft cotton, his fingers landed in slimy mush which he accidentally smeared across his shirt and his fingers. He held his fingers up and his face contorted in disgust at the sight of his ketchup covered fingers.

Mark made a similar face. "We can clean it up at my apartment. Don't worry." He said, and he was so thankful that his place was close by.

JB wanted to toss his stupid hot dog to the ground and he would've done so if he weren't so hungry. "It's okay. I'm not angry. I'm fine. I'm calm." JB repeated out loud but it was mostly to himself, a reminder to keep a cool head. He was not angry. He was as cool as a cucumber.

And thankfully, he managed to stay that way all the way up to Mark's apartment. Mark jiggled his key into the lock and turned the knob, opening the door for the two of them to go inside where JB didn't think twice before taking his shirt off.

"Wait! Uhm!" Mark scrambled to grab JB's wrists.

JB paused, the shirt still covering his pectorals. "What? We're both men." He said, along with an awkward, _what is wrong with you_ kind of laugh. Mark had to remind himself that JB was right, and that he's seen Jinyoung change clothes in front of him many times. They've even seen each other naked more than once, so what was the big deal seeing JB without a shirt? Let alone the locker rooms at school. Plenty of shirt changing happened there.

_Really, what is the big deal?_

"Uh, that's not what I was...nevermind." Mark barely managed and JB continued removing his shirt, unleashing a sight Mark wasn't expecting to affect him—or maybe he was. Again, Mark's brain slipped into analytical artist time, a mode where his eyes outlined the impressively broad width of JB's shoulders, then dipped downwards along the groove of his collar bones. Then his eyes roamed the expanse of his firm looking chest which was equally broad, then he trailed downwards across well toned abs the grew slimmer towards his waistline. And he went back up and noted his navel and the two lines peaking through the waistband of his boxers—which were peaking above his pants. Then he—

"Mark, you look like a dear in headlights. Is there something weird on me or—"

Mark blinked rapidly and scratched his head as he turned away. "I'll just wash the shirt for you and you just, you can wear one of my shirts."

"I can just clean it in your sink myself."

"No, no, I'll do it—really—I insist."

JB scratched the back of his head as he watched Mark vanish somewhere into a room he's never been in. He takes a seat on the couch and it doesn't take long at all for Youngjae to come and invade his thoughts again. Youngjae. He loved that name. _Youngjae._ He loved the way he felt wrapped in his arms. Imagining that same soft body in someone else's arms, those cute rosy lips on someone else's lips didn't cease to cause him pain. JB hated it. He absolutely hated feeling this way. He stood up, clenching his fists, then he sat back down. _No._ he thought. _Stop beating yourself up over this. Get over it and get on with your life. He's moved on. I need to do the same_.

Soon, Mark came back out holding a white tee and staring at it, worrying about whether a small shirt meant for a tiny frame like his would fit on a man with a build as big as JB's. "Do you think...this is okay?" Mark held the shirt up with both hands for him to see, but then instead of waiting for a response, Mark sat down next to JB and handed the shirt to him.

JB didn't say anything right away; instead of figuring out whether the shirt would fit or not, another interesting thought took place in his head. He held the soft cotton in his hands and took a glance at the neck tag. It read small. He never really noticed it before, but Mark is quite small isn't he? And so considerate. And a bit shy, and sometimes really awkward.

"I guess you can just try it on. I just put your shirt in the washer. For now. I tried really hard to find one but all my shirts are pretty small compared to you so I found a sorta big one that's huge when I wear it..."

JB watched Mark as he spoke. His brown round eyes could never keep proper eye contact with him. His nose was quite long but fitting for his face and his lips were the pinkest he's ever seen.

JB was staring but he didn't care. "Do people say that you're good looking?"

Mark looked taken aback. He thought for a moment, then said, "Sometimes. My friends say I am...all the time...and so do their moms..." he cleared his throat. "I don't know if I should trust them though. I've never thought I was that good or bad looking. Just...average I guess."

"Well, trust me when I say that you should trust them." JB said nonchalantly as he slipped the T-shirt right on, which happened to fit just well enough for it to not look awkward. "If you want my opinion, I say you're...very attractive."

Mark deemed unresponsive.

Then JB looked at Mark again, at how gorgeous his face is, and he concluded that he really didn't want to stop looking. If he were an artist he was sure he would want to recreate Mark's image by hand and keep it forever. _What has gotten into me?_

JB stood up, and Mark—as fidgety as he is—clumsily stood up along with him by nature.

"I think I'll go now because there's a lot on my mind." JB said.

"Already? But your shirt?" _What do you mean already?!_ Mark nagged at himself for saying that when he knew he could hardly keep his composure with him around. And he just called him _attractive._ He'd be surprised if his face wasn't stained crimson.

"Just return it to me sometime, like at school or something. I'm not hard too find. But no rush because it's really not that important."

"If you say so," Mark said "You can have that shirt by the way. It's too big for me anyway."

"Thanks," JB said before he swiftly made his exit, and Mark breathed out as if he was holding his breath for ages.

_Why is socializing so stressful?_

And it didn't help that he had trouble acknowledging what he felt around JB. He knew that he felt things but thinking of a reason behind why he felt them was too much work for his lazy, burnt-out-from-college young adult brain.

But for him to just leave like that made Mark wonder if he really was having that difficult a time with his issue with Youngjae. He didn't exactly know the most about relationships, having only been in about two highly insignificant ones from elementary and middle school, so he didn't know how he could even think to comfort him. He wondered if maybe JB had someone similar to Jinyoung, someone he could talk to almost whenever about pretty much anything. Maybe Jackson?

Then Mark remembered: Jackson totally has the hots for Jinyoung. He meant to call Jinyoung about that. But when Mark pulled his phone out from his back pocket and saw the time, it was 4:52 which meant that he was still in some theatre class he decided to take upon his interest in acting.

 _Guess that can wait,_ Mark thought and he settled on pulling put one of his sketchbooks and sketching a certain male torso onto a certain male face before he forgot what it even looked like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I'm sorry to the people who were really waiting for an update. It was just that I was having a hard time getting into what I was writing. I kept asking myself, is this even good? Should I just drop it? But as you can see, I didn't and one day I was hit with a wave of inspiration and was able to type this up. Then it kind of sat around for a little bit before I read it again and fixed some errors here and there, and then I finally had my best friend read over it and give me feedback. I thank her in like every chapter because every time I'm stuck and I'm not sure what to write, she gives me great ideas. She's the one that suggested Mark spill his coffee on JB in the first place lmao.
> 
> Btw does anyone else ever read their own stuff and cringe like mad? I think it's because I'm not the expressive type to begin with but whenever I write these fluffy sappy descriptions of someone I curl up thinking its so greasy~~~lol
> 
> Anyhow, thank you for reading as always, and don't be shy from writing a comment or two because it's what all the cool people are doing these days haha B)
> 
> Until next time~  
> -Lionness


	6. Chapter 6

The following day was surprisingly breezy, breezy enough for Mark to put a light pink hoodie on over his gray tee as he headed for the library once again. It wasn't unusual for him to go there to study or perhaps draw in his sketch book, because who liked being holed up in their home all the time? On top of that, this was a good way to talk to Jinyoung about Jackson without having to wait for him to be free and able to use his cellphone.

So he made his way through, swinging the door open and darting straight to where Jinyoung sat at the front desk, a thick book resting open. in his hands.

"Jinyoung, I have something super important to tell you," Mark began and Jinyoung held his finger up, signaling for Mark to wait for him to get to a stopping point.

But then, a very tall man with dark messy hair that covered his eyes came over to him with a short stack of about five books. "Jinyoung, I'm not sure where any of these go. Why does this library have to be so confusing?"

The high tone of his voice surprised Mark a bit.

Jinyoung didn't tear his eyes away from his book, his fingers getting ready to flip a page. "Yugyeom. I told you how it works. It's not that hard. Use your brain please, and go over there and place them properly yourself."

"But I'm gonna get it wrong~" he whined and his childishness made Mark's nose crinkle.

Jinyoung put his book down, looked at Yugyeom and then smiled. "I have faith in you, Yugyeom. Now go back over there and get some work done."

Yugyeom tilted his head, still showing that he was unsure but he listened to Jinyoung anyway and disappeared down one of the aisles.

"Alright back to us."

Mark snickered. "Who _is_ that?"

"The new annoying dance kid I told you about. He looks so different compared to what he's really like, right?"

"Hell yeah. He looks like he should be in graduate school already or something. I'm surprised he's younger than us. His voice..."

They snickered together about how interesting Yugyeom is until Jinyoung noticed that the said younger man was in the completely wrong area for those books he had. "Hey! Yugyeom! Not there! Ugh. Hold on, Mark."

Jinyoung went to go help the poor kid, guiding him to the proper place and helping him put his books up before going back to Mark. Of course Jinyoung didn't leave him without a little bit of scolding. With his arms crossed and his lips moving, Yugyeom slowly hung his head down in shame.

"I brought him here because he wanted to help," Jinyoung started as he took his place in front of the desk again. "But I feel more like I'm babysitting. He's cute and all but..." He laughed. "Anyways. What's up?"

"Well," Mark leaned in closely. "I found out that Jackson totally likes you, and I'm kind of concerned you know like, what if he's going to try to use you and—"

"Mark. No _shit_ he likes me." Jinyoung said, so smoothly and softly, and kind of slow. Mark was almost insulted with how condescending it sounded. "Unlike you, I can make my way through relationships and such without a blind eye. And this is _Jackson_ we're talking about, a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. He's an open book. A _picture_ book at that." He sighed.

Mark cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his own neck in embarrassment. "But still, what about his motives?"

"Mark, please, don't stress yourself over this because you've got more important things to worry about. _I'm_ fine. _You,_ are not."

And there Jinyoung goes, flipping the switch in the conversation, making Mark the center of it.

"Jinyoooung~" Yugyeom called from a nearby bookshelf but Jinyoung sighed and told him to get help from another librarian on the other side of the shelf. _He really is babysitting,_ Mark thought.

But back to the situation at hand.

"How do you know what I'm going through, huh?" Mark asked while squinting, as if trying to see through some sort of facade.

"Because I know everything about you. So update me. How are things with JB?"

Mark didn't want to be pestered, but Jinyoung was his best friend, someone whom he could tell everything to. So he spilled his details of what he and JB were up to in the library yesterday, all the way down to the encounter with Youngjae and then having to give JB a new shirt.

"By the way I'm dying to know what you might've said to him at the library. He told me he talked to you," Mark added.

"I just told him that you're stupid, that's all. Nothing big." He said, like it was everyday knowledge and it made Mark sigh.

"I'll pretend that that's what you actually said."

"Moving on, care to explain in detail what his naked upper body looked like? I know you remember, don't even play that, like you don't have a dozen sketches of it already."

"I definitely do care and the rest is definitely _none_ of your business." Mark said as he remembered how wide JB's shoulders were and how toned he was overall, not to the point where he was crawling with veins but just enough to be satisfying. He was fairly big in stature, and not the sack of bones Mark was.

And yes, he did draw him half naked a dozen times, but that is info Jinyoung didn't need clarification for.

Imagining JB's torso again almost gave Mark goose bumps, but he quickly subdued the thoughts.

Meanwhile, Jinyoung picked up a pen, removed the cap, and started scrawling in some binder that laid open on his desk. It looked like maybe a logbook. "I can't help but be curious but fine whatever," he surrendered. "Have you talked to him since he was at your house yesterday?"

Mark shook his head.

Jinyoung put the cap back on his pen and slapped it down against the hard wood. "What are you doing? You should talk to him! Send him a message or something to check up on him." Jinyoung closed his binder and put it to the side. "See this is what I'm talking about. You're a terrible boyfriend."

"We aren't even—"

"Message him. Help him out. You are capable of good advice. It's helped me before so I'm sure you can find something good to say to him."

Mark couldn't argue with Jinyoung, but he wanted to ask him _what kind of advice?_ But he knew that Jinyoung would boomerang the question right back at him and in the end he would be stuck with it the same question anyway.

"We aren't dating." He said, feeling the need to justify himself.

"Mark. I can't believe how thick headed you've been being these days." Jinyoung rested his chin in his palm, his elbows resting on the desk. "Im Jaebum is the man of your dreams. Accept it."

Mark sighed. "I don't actually know him." He felt like he had said this more than once, to the point where saying it now was making him irritable. Was Jinyoung going to continue pestering him until he heard what he wanted to hear?

"I think you know enough to give him a try. Once you stop being afraid, I guess, because we both know that that's the only thing holding you back. When are you going to finally grow a pair?"

Mark didn't have anything to say to that because in the end, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he knew that Jinyoung was right. He wanted so bad to keep rejecting the feelings JB gave him but Jinyoung is really testing his strength by throwing all kinds if facts in his face.

"Alright, you seem like you've said all you needed to, and I need to get back to work and make sure that Yugyeom isn't messing things up. Plus, I can't be seen slacking off for too long."

Mark thought about staying and passively arguing against him, but he somehow felt like that choice would do him no good. It would leave both of them frustrated, and Jinyoung even more convinced that Mark was in complete denial and just trying to make up excuses.

So he decided to drop the whole thing and let his best friend continue his work. "Okay. See you, Jinyoung."

That whole encounter didn't go at all as he expected it to go, but he couldn't say that it surprised him. Almost nothing goes according to his plan, so what was new?

In other news, he changed his mind about studying. The craft store sounded like a much better idea, for there were important supplies that he was in need of anyway, so that became his next destination.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mark made it to his nearest craft store, Jinyoung's words still floating about his mind. _Help him out._ It's not that he didn't want to help him, but he didn't think that he was in the position to be giving out relationship advice. He hasn't been in a relationship since years ago, and on top of that, his last breakup was mutual. He simply wouldn't know a thing about being flat out dumped or anything of that nature.

He looked down the rows and rows of paint in the aisle, a finger tapping against his chin as he looked for the colors of paint he needed for one of his projects. At the same time, he wondered how he could help JB. _What helps you feel better when_ you're _down, Mark?_

Right at that thought, his phone vibrated, and when he pulled it out of his pocket, he found a message from JB waiting to be opened. He used his thumb to press the notification.

**From** **JB** **:**   
_Hey_

It wasn't unusual for JB to send a random greeting every now and then. Mark learned that he liked checking up on people.

_What if I just ask how he's doing right now?_

**Mark**   
_Hey. You feeling_ _ok_ _?_

He hesitated before pressing send, then shoved his phone back in his pocket. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous to see what JB would respond with, so to calm his mind, he focused on the types of paint that were placed in the shelves before him, trying to think of the colors he would need for his next composition. He had what he needed for his castles which was mostly composed of white, greys, and earthy tones like brown and green, but for his self portrait, he was running out of his most used skin tones. He picked up a peach colored paint bottle and examined the cylindrical exterior. It was his most used tone, since it was the color of his own skin. He would create self portraits often as practice.

 _One day,_ he thought. _I'll ask JB upfront if I can't paint him instead._

 _Bzzt_ _._ His phone went off again. A reply.

**JB**   
_Not feeling the best._

Mark thought about JB, about his personality, about what it felt like to be him in an attempt to figure out what would relieve him. He could see when JB was unsettled; Mark was the kind of person who paid attention to _everything_ that went on around him. Thanks to that trait of his, he could deduce that JB might be the type of guy to lock away the emotions that made him look weak.

It's never good to keep things bottled up; Mark knew that too well.

It was like a light bulb lit up as soon as he figured that out. He didn't think too much about what he said next. He just typed it all in as the thought came.

 **Mark**   
_Have you_ _cried since? Since you two broke up_

He waits.

**JB**   
_I_ _havent_

**Mark**   
_Maybe it'll help_

He stared at it a little while after he sent it, wondering if JB would reply quickly. When he didn't, he put his phone back into his pocket and didn't get a response back during the rest of his time in the craft store.

Without trying, JB continued to be the center of Mark's thoughts from the check out line in the craft store to his walk home. Aside from the physical aspects of JB that Mark's artist eye fawned over, Mark was legitimately concerned about him, and he was even more concerned about whether the advice he was giving was good.

He wondered if maybe he should go as far as to physically make himself there as well, so he sent out another message.

**Mark**   
_U wanna hang out?_

Part of Mark sent it just in case what he said before was stupid, so this was acting as a safety net so that his previous message didn't seem as important. But a large part of him really did want to hang out regardless and he thought it would be nice if he was the one to initiate something for a change.

~

He made it home and still no response.

The next few hours were spent trying to figure out what he would paint. He was in the mood to paint, but the question that killed his motivation was the enemy every artist always battles. _W_ _hat?_

He had projects to work on, but he didn't feel like doing those right now. He was in the mood to do what he wanted, to freely paint something without the restrictions provided by someone else's standards.

But unfortunately, the dreaded block decided to make itself at home in the middle of Mark's creative circuit and in the end he got nothing done, his results being wasted paper and wasted expensive paint because all he tried to do wasn't satisfying enough. But as frustrating as it was, days like this happened. Therefore, it wasn't something he wasn't used to.

_It'll come to me. I'll just have to wait for it._

After pouring himself a tall glass of icy water (an attempt to calm his nerves), he received a message from JB and it was so long after the last message Mark sent that he forgot he even sent a message. He opens it.

**JB**   
_I did it._

**Mark**   
_Did what?_

**JB**   
_Cried_

**JB**   
_I'd love to hang_ _out_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, I end chapters at the worst time, right? I hope it was entertaining. Though I wish I didn't always make you guys wait so long but, this stuff just takes time~ I'm having fun though and thank you to all who keep patiently waiting for new updates! Won't be long before it's all over now...
> 
> (Omg Yugyeom is so cute)
> 
> Hey so idk if any of you are interested in checking me out on twitter where we can communicate or something but you can find me @coconutbum where you'll find out that I am very goofy and like funny stuff and talking about Got7 24/7 so yeah...there's that.
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> ~lionness


	7. Srry 4 making u guys wait so long

  
"I'm so tired all of a sudden..." Jaebum said. Then he fell backwards, his head softly landing onto Mark's lap.

They were underneath the night sky, stars brightly shining and trees gently swaying, the grass below them soft and recently cut, creating a comfortable place for them to sit in the calm and quiet air around them.

Just fifteen minutes ago, Mark had went over to Jaebum's place before he told Mark to come with him-Jaebum obviously not trying to give out any details.

Mark remembered the puffy, red-eyed look that had greeted him at Jaebum's front door.

 _"Hey,"_ Mark had said the moment the door opened.

 _"Hey,"_ Jaebum had said weakly, almost strained.

The sight had made Mark's eyes briefly widen in shock, having never seen or heard this side of him before. This was the first time where _fragile_ sounded like a good way to describe him, like his outer walls crumbled down and he was now in a weaker and much more vulnerable state.

Then Jaebum had abruptly cleared his throat. _"I'm okay. Let's go somewhere,"_ he had said.

And that's how they're here now.

 _"I like to come here to relax and clear my head a little. Usually, it gets the job done,"_ Jaebum had explained whenever they first arrived here. Mark couldn't say exactly where it was but that it was found with the help of a discreet trail that started at the edge of the woods near their university. Jaebum introduced the field and they planted themselves in the middle of it where the opening was wide and clear so that they could see the stars.

Now, Jaebum let out a relaxed sigh while still lying in the older boy's lap.

"You gonna fall asleep on me?" Mark asked, when really he was the one ready to succumb to sleep. The area was too comfortable and quiet to stay properly awake, like a sleepy spell was casted to whomever intruded.

Jaebum yawned. "It'll be hard not to." Of course he's tired. He was just crying his eyes out an hour ago.

"You may be a sack of bones but your thigh is a good enough cushion." Jaebum joked.

But Mark paid no attention to his remark. The thumping in his chest grew quicker as he took in the weight of Jaebum lying on him like a child, and he couldn't help but look down at his hair, the strands smooth and shiny like silk. A sudden urge to feel them was impossible to ignore.

Gently, he brought his fingers right above Jaebum's head, and slowly lowered them onto his dark hair. He took in the moment, took time to appreciate the soft, baby-like hair and took time to feel the gentle wind that swept his bangs to the side and made bumps rise on his skin.

But then Jaebum let out another relaxed sigh and asked, "What are you thinking about, Mark?"

Mark paused, his fingertips hovering over Jaebum's head, eyes not looking away even for a second. "Nothing, really. Just about how soft your hair is I guess..."

"Oh?" Jaebum grinned. "Just so you know, I asked because I feel like that's the only way I'll ever know what's on your mind. I _have_ to ask. If I don't, I'll never know what you're feeling..."

That was right, and Mark couldn't say that it was the first time he was ever told that. He knew he was very private, reserved and closed up, a person who always thought and kept those thoughts inside his head. Jinyoung would point it out, saying how he makes it difficult for others to approach him and get to know him. Sometimes it gave him a bit of a complex, but he mostly embraced it.

But the fact that he made Jaebum feel that way almost made him feel guilty.

Jaebum was outspoken and honest, and showed his emotions, while Mark kept everything hidden

Jaebum seemed to have everything that Mark lacked, and more.

And it'd been making him want to change.

Mark glided his fingers down the side of Jaebum's head, down to where he then ghosted over his sideburns. He subconsciously bit his bottom lip as his fingers stayed there, barely above the undercut as contemplated touching the skin below it.

"Thanks for the advice earlier," Jaebum said.

Mark of course didn't say anything back and let his trembling fingertips press onto the skin.

But as soon as he made contact, Jaebum jerked himself upwards, Mark's hand dropping down into the grass.

"Hey! Your hands are freezing!" Jaebum laughed, rubbing the skin by his ear that was affected by Mark's icy touch.

"Oh... Sorry..." Mark blushed.

Then he felt his hands being grabbed and pulled away.

Jaebum held Mark's cold hands and Mark watched as he brought them up to his face, towards his mouth.

The speed of his rapid heartbeat wouldn't let up.

Then he felt warmth.

Jaebum blew warm air onto Mark's hands and rubbed them together. "You should wear gloves or something. Even though it's not even that cold out."

Mark stared in awe at Jaebum's kind gesture. It wasn't like anyone had blown on his hands before so he couldn't help but think it was strange, in a not-so-unappealing way.

"I'm too skinny to keep myself warm," he murmured and it elicited a laugh from Jaebum, a laugh Mark wasn't getting tired of anytime soon.

"Good thing I'm here then," Jaebum said with a slightly raised brow, still holding Mark's hands close and blowing warm breath on then. "You have nice hands."

"That's random." Mark replied.

"I know, I know, but you really do."

Jaebum then placed Mark's palm against his jaw, testing the temperature of them. "They feel much better now. Touch all you want."

Mark snatched his hand away and pulled both into his lap as if trying to protect them, leaving Jaebum to pull the corners of his lips up until his eyes became crescents. How could anyone not take what he said the wrong way?

Mark rubbed at his own hands and meanwhile, Jaebum moved towards him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, the contrast between their sizes noticeably severe, Jaebum's arm easily curling it's way across.

Mark had never felt so entirely small.

He was frigid like an ice cube. But Jaebum? The total opposite. Warm, easy, and relaxed.

Jaebum spoke again. "You know, I really am over Youngjae now. I've let him go."

Mark said nothing. And silence took over once more before Jaebum was ready to speak again.

"I'm glad that you're here to listen to me, Mark. Sometimes you don't need a person to say anything to help you get through a problem. Knowing that their ears are open is help enough..."

"I'm glad that I can do that for you..." Mark spoke quietly, not even knowing much how to process what the other just said. He felt warmth inside at those sentimental and appreciative words spoken of him. It was so little, but to Mark, it meant so much.

They sat for while in silence, feeling the nature around them. Mark occasionally glanced at Jaebum and really just....took time to appreciate all that he is. From the soft hair that lay on his head, easily blown by the wind, to the visible strength in his firm shoulders, down to his thick thighs not completely covered by black pants that dawned gaping holes in them. The baby butterflies jittered in the pit of his stomach as he looked at Jaebum through his metaphorical artistic lens. He was doing more than just looking, admiring the physicality of all that Jaebum is.

He was _feeling._ Feeling in ways he couldn't exactly explain as anything but flutters and jitters.

"Mark..." Jaebum's voice cut into the silence, and he looked like he was concentrating on something as his finger curled underneath his lip. Scooting closer to Mark, he placed his hand on his wrist, lightly like a feather.

Mark's heart thumped faster, and he grew stiff. Something was coming. He didn't know what it was, but it was coming,

And he wouldn't be prepared for it.

"Mark..." Jaebum said again, thumb rubbing the top of his hand and he bit his bottom lip, eyes down at the ground. But then his head snapped up, Mark catching himself in Jabeum's stare.

"I think..." Jaebum paused, and shook his head. "No. I'm _positive..."_

Mark's heart was beating so fast it was almost all he could hear as his air grew so stiff it was almost hard to breathe.

While Jaebum's hold on Mark's wrist grew tighter, Jaebum, said,

"I'm positive...that I like you."

His eyes pierced through Mark, as sincere and full of feeling as they could be, but without wavering or batting an eye. Mark was nervous. He was always nervous, but right now he was especially nervous. He wanted to look away but he was completely frozen by Jaebum's gaze.

And the words he said,

And the words that continued to follow.

"And I think I have ever since I first met you." He continued, his eyes looking down for a moment but then he locked them back onto Mark. He couldn't believe how Jaebum could look him straight in the eye while saying those words, words that twisted Mark's insides with surprise and confusion, like a bomb dropped on all those fluttering butterflies in his stomach, sending them into a wave of panic.

Then Jaebum took Mark's hand and let their palms rest against each other and he bit his lip once more. "I want you to tell me how you feel."

Did Jaebum come even closer? Or was Mark seeing things? There was too much going on in his mind to tell.

"I never know what's on your mind," Jaebum said. "Tell me. What are you thinking about?" His voice was low, careful, and terribly sincere.

Mark could feel a strong presence, an almost _suffocating_ presence coming from him.

He had too much going on in his head to properly react.

His real world was closing in on him while he tried to find answers for himself, tried to figure out what Jaebum wanted to know.

_How do I feel?_

Their breaths were suddenly mingling in the air, their faces so close that it was too awkward to look Mark in the eyes anymore. Mark knew what was happening. He knew what was about to happen if he didn't stop him. But he didn't think about what was happening for once, but simply felt it. He felt Jaebum's breath, Jaebum's heavy heart that was about to burst, and his own heart that was starting to do the same.

"Stop me, Mark. Or I'll get the wrong idea. Stop me," He said, barely above a whisper.

Mark knew what was going on, and he knew that he wanted it to happen much more than he wanted to stop it.

He _liked_ what he felt.

So he did what he wanted to,

and _let_ it happen.

He _let_ Jaebum press his lips against his, a soft connection between two plush surfaces.

What did this mean? The question lingered in his mind but he ignored it. For once, he only cared for what he was feeling and how much he loved what he felt. Jaebum's soft lips were enough of a distraction from any thoughts that tried to make way as his feelings led him to mindlessly place his hands on Jaebum's thighs, gently feeling the firm expanse which invited Jaebum to place his hand on Mark's jaw and attempt to push deeper, to move more into the kiss. Mark felt his tongue asking for entry and he didn't hesitate to let it through as they exchanged long lasting tastes of each other inside, their tongues somehow mingling in harmony as if they were meant for each other.

And as if neither of them had shared a kiss with someone in a long time.

Words couldn't describe how great Mark felt, realizing that he wanted to do this for a very long time.

He would just never acknowledge it.

They kissed for a while, neither one wanting the moment to end. But all things come to an end; after planting a few more feathery kisses directly on the older man's lips, Jaebum pulled back, the sound of wet lips parting heard among the crickets that chirped from within the grass. Mark felt wobbly, lips moist, his eyes glazed over, heart still at a quick pace. 

"How was it?" Jaebum asked, still holding Mark in his arms and the hint of a grin was not hard to see.

Mark blinked a few times as he slowly drifted back into reality. He looked at Jaebum, than looked down, then flickered his eyes towards Jaebum again, but couldn't hold his gaze so he stared at a tree in the distance instead. "I...I don't-"

Jaebum frowned and drew his eyebrows in, his hand starting loosen around Mark's arm.

Then Mark's eyes widened. "I mean! Wait! I liked it. I really did. It was amazing."  he gripped Jaebum harder, not wanting him to go anywhere.

"So," Jaebum gently rubbed the other's arms with his thumbs. "date me then."

Mark only wished he could say things as straightforward as Jaebum.

He only wished.

"Jaebum...Still, I don't know if I want to."

Jaebum let go of the older with a sigh. "Mark, I don't understand. So you don't like me? Then you should've stopped me. I couldn't help that—" his voice was rising, but he stopped, retraced his steps and spoke again. "—actually no. That's unfair to blame you and make excuses..." he breathed out another frustrated sigh.

"No, I..." Mark tried his best to grab his thoughts but it was like his words were floating far above his head, way out of reach. _C'mon_ _, Mark. Do you like him?_ "I feel like I do like you, but I'm not that sure."

Jaebum opened his mouth, but shut it, then he opened it again. "Are you serious? How can you say that? Either you like me or you don't. Stop being so fucking indecisive." Jaebum said, his words spiked with anger and irritation. "You know what?" He stood up. "I'm probably just wasting my time."

But Mark grabbed his arm with both hands before he had a chance to walk away, eyes _pleading._ "I'm just worried. I... I do like you, but what if it's temporary? What if I... Just lose interest because I don't... Feel it anymore... "

Jaebum looked away. He looked at the blades of grass, he looked at the trees, he looked up at the sky and counted the stars before he looked at Mark again. "Right at this moment, how do you feel about me? How do you feel _right now."_

Mark listened to Jaebum's heartfelt words.

Then he listened to what his heart was saying as well.

He took a deep breath. "I want you. In...a lot of ways. I..." but then he lost his trail of words once more.

But luckily, Jaebum picked it back up. "I want to feel you, be around you, and do things with you. I want to hug and kiss you, and I want to make you happy," he said. "I know you aren't that good with words, but maybe I can help. All that I just said...do you feel that? Right now?"

Mark realized he was still holding onto Jaebum's arm, realized that he absolutely loved how warm it felt against his palms. He loved the way Jaebum looked, how he felt, and how he knew what he wanted. Jaebum knew his feelings, and knew how to lead and make decisions unlike Mark who could barely decide on a favorite color or food. So he decided that it was about time he lived in the moment, and made a decision. It occurred to him that _right now_ was what was important, not what might happen later. If he didn't take a chance, he'd never know.

Mark now spoke with confidence. "I do feel those things. All of it. And more."

They exchanged expressionless glances, and Mark's hands slid from gripping Jaebum's arm to holding his hand.

"You inspire me," Mark says. "You inspire my art, and you inspire me...as a...a person. I admire your looks...and I admire who you are..." Mark swallowed the lump in his throat, not used to being so direct and open about his feelings with just anyone; it wasn't the most comfortable. But, it made him feel good to do so nonetheless. It felt good to let Jaebum know these feelings he kept inside. "I...I do....I want to be with you, Jaebum."

Jaebum turned his head again, his hand cupping his mouth. One might think he was crying, but then he faced Mark again with a childish grin and smiling eyes that sparkled under the moonlight. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that!" He said. Then he pulled Mark into a warming and soft embrace.

It felt so good, a relaxed sigh escaped Mark's lips. He wanted to stay there forever.

" _God,_ I don't want to let go." Jaebum seemed to have similar thoughts.

"Then don't," Mark said.

Jaebum chuckled. "I have to go home eventually. And get some sleep. Midterms are a pain in my ass, and I spent the night with you instead of studying."

"Oh... Sorry... "

"No, it's fine. Mark, imagine if I did stay home and miss all of this because I was studying..." Jaebum would've jumped out of a window if he knew he'd missed a moment like this.

"Hey...can I kiss you some more? Please?"

Mark nodded and they didn't shy from a lengthy make out session in the middle of open woods.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have many concerns about this chap AS USUAL but if I keep fretting over how good it is it'll never get done, and ion wanna do ya guys dirty like dat. With that being said though, I will never pour shitty writing out of my butt and just drop it just to get it done, because I really care about the stuff I write (almost too much...)
> 
> SO yeah WOAH THIS CHAPTER ESCALATED.
> 
> I wanted to get things going. I didn't expect this to go on as long as it's going in the first place ^^;
> 
> We're very close to the end. One chapter left? Could change to two but we'll just have to see.
> 
> As always, I hope you guys enjoyed it at least a little bit. Btw, your comments make me so. Happy. SO so happy. And even seeing some of you yearning for more makes me happy because that means that my story is interesting enough to keep you anticipating the rest ^0^ I hope I don't let yall down.
> 
> byes for now
> 
> -lionness


End file.
